by Send the damn cold email.
Sometimes I forget I have free will. Luckily, one Thursday night while I was working at my soon-to-be old job…I remembered that my fate is in my hands.
I thought of what the heck I want to do with my life. I’ve had this thought circulate since around the ripe age of 1— a fairly universal thing, I think. I am currently an undergraduate studying English, so I thought of the setting I would love to be in.
I immediately cracked opened my laptop (the local restaurant I work at is often dreadfully slow) and looked up every library within a 30-mile radius of me.
It totaled to five.
I dusted off my resume tucked away in the archives of my google docs and I realized…it needed some editing. It looked as if I could hardly hold a job.
I scrolled through every forgotten identity of my life, from the first job I had doing dishes at a small mom-and-pop restaurant at 15, to selling mattresses at Metro Mattress, to working at a daycare, then delivering pizzas (I actually loved this), to a Target Distribution Center (if you want to feel like a hamster running on a wheel in its cage all day, I recommend this!), to moving to NYC as an au pair (live-in nanny, also a great gig), then moving to Phoenix and serving yet again (I was pregnant with twins during this), and then back home where I picked up a weekend job at a pizza place to bring in some income while I raised my beans, trying to be at home as much as I could in their infancy.
It was in this, that I realized that I needed to get my sh*t together. Having kids made me realize this isn’t just my life, but our life, so I need to do a damn good job at crafting it. I put myself back in school, but it still didn’t seem like enough.
The tides changed when my sister-in-law sent me a post of a local flower farm that was hiring. I didn’t even know this place existed, but I immediately sent an email. It was only 2-3 days a week, and I envisioned myself in the dirt and surrounded by flowers.
Cut to the interview, and I left feeling like I completely botched it. I remember calling my mom on the drive home all,
“Girl, I do not think I got that job.”
She was shocked, because if I tend to have anything in this life, it’s an almost annoying level of optimism and a confidence in getting what I want if I truly feel it aligns with me.
I think my answer was somewhere along the lines of, “I loved to garden with my mom and grandma growing up and I have a lot of house plants, so no, not really.”
She looked at me like ‘rightttt’ so I added an honest, “But, I’m willing to learn!”
The interview in terms of our interaction went so well. We had really clicked. I brought up how I am in the midst of publishing my first book and she showed me her children’s book she published (which I bought before I left, not even to kiss her ass, but because support local authors and it was AMAZING!).
This led to a conversation about reading, to which she divulged her obsession with ACOTAR (a popular fantasy series), and we giggled and kicked our feet over the bat boys, even going as far to say that those books were the reason we both got pregnant when we did (lol).
I felt comfortable, immediately. But, as for feeling qualified? Not so much.
I told my mom on the phone.
“I feel like I could totally be best friends with her and get a cup of coffee or something, but when she asked me about plants I sounded like a dingus.”
“Oh, honey! Maybe, it’ll still work out.” My mom encouraged.
Well, days later, I literally started jumping up and down and squealing when I saw that I had a missed call from her.
SHE SAID I GOT THE JOB!!!
Y’all I just about farted; I was so excited.
The Farm Healed Me: A Look Inside the Beginning of It
Being in that greenhouse in March was some sort of elixir for me. It was healing. It was 20 degrees warmer than it was outside. I literally felt myself thaw out from the brutal winter (I’m located in upstate NY for reference).
Dividing dahlia tubers, cleaning out tunnels (she has 4), being outside ALL day in all of the elements, breathing in that fresh air, planting and planting and planting (and planting), watching the flowers all bloom and harvesting them, and then MAKING BOUQUETS. We even painted her beautiful event space she built. It was a dream.
I had dirt under my nails, sun-kissed shoulders, and a smile on my face.
It was a lot on my body. It’s not just frolicking through a field. It’s being bent over (don’t you dare make it an innuendo) all day and the tendons of your knees slowly shredding from being folded underneath you all day. It’s sweating and wanting to strip naked in June and bundling up in 7 layers in December (that’s right…she gets tulips shipped from Amsterdam and does winter tulips under lights!). I literally don’t have any fingerprints on my thumbs and my right forefinger from stripping dahlia leaves.
But, I loved it. I got to listen to my audio books and sometimes just the rain fall on the top of the tunnel or the birds chirp in the forest edge. I got to whisper to the rose bushes and eucalyptus and walk barefoot in between rows of nicotiana and verbena. I began to be able to identify flowers and memorize their names. Gomphrena and scabiosa, white mignonette and celosia! I was a botany student by chance and a pupil to the farm and its ecosystem.
I miss the farm. I cannot wait to return in March. Back to seeding in the greenhouse, and this time I know the lay of the land, no longer a rookie to the nature around me.
And get this…in the 10 years that my boss had started her florist business on the farm…I was the only hand she hired that lasted an entire season aside from her neighbor coming to help.
She had confided in me that no matter hard she tried to keep people, they always left due to it being too hard of work to endure, too much strain on their body, and the thick humidity of the summers in upstate.
We got to the point where our lunch breaks were filled with unfiltered conversations, laughter, and pure entertainment. We became true friends, even hanging outside of work. One day, I told her about how I had felt after the interview. I didn’t think I was going to get the job. I finally asked her…
“Why did you hire me?”
“Honestly, you were so outgoing and chipper that I figured you would motivate everyone to keep going, even when it gets rough.”
I smiled at this. “It didn’t quite work, though.” (The other hand that she had hired at the same time as me, had quit in June and literally it hurt worse than I divorce because I loved her so much, too!).
“Maybe not, but you’re still here.”
She commended me for riding it out through all of the unpredictability that a farm throws at a person.
It made me think. Had I done my homework before the interview, would I have come off as pretentious, spitting out facts about snapdragons and peonies, rototilling and arranging?
I daresay, being myself actually got me way further.
Enjoy some pics from the farm this past season :p
The Library Luck
So, cut back to me realizing how comedically long my resume was and how I had absolutely no experience that would help me in getting a job at the library.
I decided to give my resume a quick cut, keeping only the most relevant jobs on there. I added a cover letter and expressed how much I felt the library to be the heart of the community and what an honor it would be to work in such a setting. I emailed all 5 libraries (I found their contact info on their websites), even if they weren’t hiring.
There was an even a part-time director position open that required a bachelor’s degree (mostly for signing grants), and although I was underqualified, I still applied.
This ^ listing actually ended up being the one I got a call back for!!!
They said, “Although we can’t hire you for that position, we happen to have an opening as a part-time clerk if that’s of any interest to you.”
I was so enthralled.
I voiced how I knew it was a long shot at getting that job due to my lack of credentials and I would actually prefer a role like that.
We set up an interview, and it got snowed out so I utilized that extra time to ask both the facilitator of children’s story time and the director of my town’s library to be a reference. I knew them from always visiting the space in my childhood, doing a bit of volunteer work there briefly in high school, and currently frequent weekly with my kiddos for story time.
I also used my boss for the flower farm because they know her from hosting bouquet making events there. It was great to have connections!
I know for a fact that the references from my local library (particularly the director) worked out in my favor because they had said that they would let me know by next week, but they ended up calling that night to tell me I got it because they “just couldn’t wait any longer” and my reference had nothing but great things to say!
I highly recommend visiting your favorite library and getting to know the staff. Once you’re familiar enough, ask one of them if they’d be a reference for you! They usually accept volunteer work, as well. Little things like that go a long way.
I was over the moon (and still am) and am so excited to begin my new adventure. I worked it out so I can keep my two days at the flower farm in season and work 5-6 days a week at the library, too.
I definitely think it was meant to be.
Now, I get to be a librarian/florist—my days surrounded by books and plants—the absolute dream jobs as I finish out my degree.
So, yeah! That’s the scoop. Ultimately, the best advice I can give is to reach out. Sitting there daydreaming of things only gets you so far. You have to be actively taking steps in order to bring to life in order for them to actually come to fruition. (This took me a while to learn).
I scored both of my jobs by emailing them first! I also think that your references matter more than you think. Utilize them and don’t be afraid to reach out to new people who might go out on a limb for you, too!
Lastly, be natural! A personable person who is willing to learn is better than a qualified person who is unpleasant. You can’t always teach nice!
Don’t wait for life to happen to you. It’s up to you to reach out and push pieces to get them in motion! If you want it, why not try to reach out and grab it? Fear is the mind killer—rejection might be your last no before a final yes. Don’t get discouraged! You are the master of your own fate.
with love,
– r.